Five Stress Management Strategies That Really Work
Introduction
Please try this experiment right now: Google "how
to reduce stress" and notice that about half the entries are essays of the
form, "Top [number] Ways to Relieve Stress." It sounds like there are a
lot of resources for the stressed-out people in our society, but if you
look more closely you'll see that most of them are pretty lightweight. A
typical list entry might read:
Don't take yourself so seriously - learn to see the funny side of your
predicaments and feel that stress just drain away."
I don't mean to be unkind, but whoever wrote this advice never had to work
for a bullying boss who threatened her with firing if she wouldn't sleep
with him. There is just no way to see that in a humorous light. So I want
to offer my top five list - but these suggestions are all based on solid
scientific evidence taken from the field of cognitive psychology. There
are going to be harder to achieve on your own, but they will work.
Identify Your Stressors
Even though it seems like everything
in your life is causing you stress, the bulk of it probably comes from a few
sources: perhaps five or six, and dealing with those stressors will provide
enough relief that you the rest of the stress will become manageable. The best
way I know to identify your real stressors is to keep a stress journal (you can
read more about stress journals
here). As you journal your stress experience, you'll start to see a pattern
of when your stress increases and what's happening when you get stressed.
Those are the stressors you should concentrate on first, because you'll get
much more relief for your effort.
Start Taking Control
Stress happens when you're under pressure
or in pain and you feel helpless. The last part is important: if you feel like
you're in control then you may be afraid or angry, but you won't feel stressed.
So if you can start taking charge of your situation, even a little bit, your
stress will start to subside. If there's nothing you can do about the big
problem you're confronting (like a layoff) then try to take control of a
smaller problem. Even if you only clean off your desk or decide not to take
work home, you'll start to feel a little less stress.
Build a Support Network
There's lots of research that shows
that people who have strong social ties and people they can rely on, survive
stress much better than those who try to go it alone. So make sure that you
have at least one person you can call at any time who will just listen to your
side of the story. He or she doesn't have to fix anything, or even agree with
you - he or she just has to listen sympathetically. (But don't use this
as a bitching session - when you talk with your support person, just describe
what really happened and how you're feeling: save the revenge fantasies for
later.)
Eat Well and Exercise
Prolonged stress will wear your health
down in many ways, so you have to take extra care of yourself in stressful
times. Stress may make you eat more or less than you normally do, but make sure
that you're eating a balanced diet, and that you're eating at regular times.
Make meals a stress-free moment in your day and eat them with friends and
family if you can. Even moderate exercise is effective in clearing the stress
hormones out of your body, so try to get a little exercise as soon after the
stressful event as you can. You don't need to go to the gym - even taking a
five minute walk will help your body return to its rest state.
Take Care of Your Mental Health
Telling you to "just ignore
the stress" would be stupid advice, because it's a fact of your life. But if
you can counteract stressful, anxious thoughts with calming pleasant ones, the
stressful thoughts will have less of an effect on you. So when you start
worrying about the impending layoff, don't fight the feelings of anxiety. But
at the same time, think of something you treasure: your family or your last
vacation, or even the game of golf you'll play this evening. The pleasant
thoughts will rob the anxious ones of much of their power and you'll get over
the anxiety much sooner.
There they are: five techniques you can use to effectively
counteract the stress in your job and life. I know that none of these is
easy - they require effort and persistence - but they're a lot more
effective than advice like "learn to laugh at yourself."
Take stress seriously - fight back fiercely.
About the Author
Bruce Taylor is the Owner and Principle
of Unison Coaching, and provides corporate and executive coaching to a
wide variety of businesses including engineering, human resource,
consulting, and recruiting firms. Mr Taylor has extensive background in
Psychology, Human Resources, and Software Engineering. He holds a
Masters degree in Computer Science from Duke University, a Masters in
Psychology from the University of Massachusetts, and a Certificate in
Job Stress and Healthy Workplace Design from the University of
Massachusetts. He can be reached at
http://www.unisoncoaching.com or
bruce_taylor@unisoncoaching.com.
Stress (roughly the opposite of relaxation) is a medical term for a wide
range of strong external stimuli, both physiological and psychological,
which can cause a physiological response called the general adaptation
syndrome, first described in 1936 by Hans Selye in the journal Nature.
An emotionally disruptive or upsetting condition occurring in response to
adverse external influences and capable of affecting physical health which
can be characterized by increased heart rate, a rise in blood pressure,
muscular tension, irritability and depression. Stress does not cause
migraine but can be a migraine "trigger".
A condition in which the organism is subjected to unfavourable or
unfamiliar environmental conditions, resulting in some alteration in normal
physical functioning. Short-term stress can often be overcome. Long-term
stress can reduce resistance to disease and parasites, inhibit self-healing
processes, and reduce life-span.