Success, Stress, and Happiness

Recently I have come to some conclusions about my life and the changes I want to make in it. I had slowly been heading toward these changes within the past year, but it took some time away from it all to truly get serious about implementing them.

You probably know where my thoughts are headed since I know that most of us moms discuss this subject: being too busy.

We can talk about it, or we can do something about it.

You see, Ive found that a lot of moms talk about being too busy and feeling overwhelmed but when it comes down to it, they refuse to say no or allow themselves to not get things accomplished.

Im just like you. It is extremely hard for me to not demand so much of myself or remind myself that everything cannot be done all of the time. This mentality cripples us and creates great stress in our lives and in our homes. I started thinking about how my children would remember me as a mom when they grew up. And I thought, What good is it for me to have everything done; get it all accomplished but be left a puddle of stress in the process? Is that how I want my children to remember me? And of course, the answer was a resounding NO!

Let me ask you a question that Ive asked myself before on many occasions. Why is it that we as moms, feel that we must keep our homes perfectly organized and picked up; our children in all the latest groups and activities; involved in every volunteer request that comes up; homemade meals; and not forget any gifts, thank-you notes, or social opportunities that come around in the meantime? Plus, have a little something on the side (whether its a job/business, or hobby) for ourselves as well? The answer I came up with was very unflattering. I came to the conclusion that we expect all of this out of ourselves because we feel we are perceived as being successful if we do it.

We look at it like if we are sooo busy then hey, everyone must love us and want us to do things and be around us, right?

Do you FEEL successful? Im willing to bet you dont. And if you ask your frazzled, stressed-out mom friends I bet they dont feel successful either.

I cant tell you what to do or make your choices for you. For me, Ive decided to start saying no more often; to allow the laundry to sit a little more if need be, and to ease up on my computer work so I have more time to laugh and play with my family. I am working on delegating more tasks (which is a very hard thing for me to do!)

To me, being happy means I am successful. And happiness in our home only comes with less stress and a lighter load.

So if people think Im boring because I have free time and no social invitations on the horizon so be it. I plan on being too content, rested, and happyto care.

Slowing my familys life down is a goal Im still working on; but Im headed in the right direction. How about you?

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What is stress?

Stress (roughly the opposite of relaxation) is a medical term for a wide range of strong external stimuli, both physiological and psychological, which can cause a physiological response called the general adaptation syndrome, first described in 1936 by Hans Selye in the journal Nature.
An emotionally disruptive or upsetting condition occurring in response to adverse external influences and capable of affecting physical health which can be characterized by increased heart rate, a rise in blood pressure, muscular tension, irritability and depression. Stress does not cause migraine but can be a migraine "trigger".
A condition in which the organism is subjected to unfavourable or unfamiliar environmental conditions, resulting in some alteration in normal physical functioning. Short-term stress can often be overcome. Long-term stress can reduce resistance to disease and parasites, inhibit self-healing processes, and reduce life-span.